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Friday, April 27, 2012

*Consider this an elegy*


*Consider this an elegy*
Mournful sense of dread
No one’s truly dead
But still we mourn

With an elegiac look, she stepped
Closer to the edge of nowhere.
I watched her intensely,
As she whispered words of Misery.
How long had she faked it, a smile,
And all the while, I had watched her,
Yet, it never passed, a single concern,
That she was truly lonely.

Had I never took in to consideration,
Her slowly breaking heart;
Let her hide behind laughter,
And sweet cheerful remarks.
Could I not of took the time
To just ask her what’s wrong,
But no, I always remained,
Silently strong.

Out of pride, was it,
The reason I don’t move.
Because some hidden feeling of lose,
I stray away from you.
When all is over
And the days run cold,
My pride will be the only thing
Left to know.

What good is pride
Without reason?
Should I have got up
And plead than?
It was she,
That told me goodbye,
But perhaps it was I,
That brought forth that lie.

Her body’s cold
As the chilled wind hits.
Another step closer
And it all could end.
The desire to reach out chokes me,
But still I remain like a rock.
Though, I deserve it,
Why do I miss you so much?

Should I be all alone
And still it’s so cold.
Turning, just slightly,
I see watered eyes;
They break me to pieces
To the point I’ll die,

Yet, I remain,
Stubborn as ever,
And she walks off the edge
Against my endeavors.
After all that fighting
Not to give in,
I fall to my knees
And cry for nothing.

It’s all over
And I hurt terribly
Because I had to have pride,
Indefinitely?
Could I just of
Let it all go,
My selfish thoughts,
Let my hatred fold?

All I hated
Was my eternal love,
And, still, it
Wasn’t enough.
Loving her still,
Yet, she’s gone
And I was wrong,
All along.

With a look so solemn,
She disappeared,
And with her death
Awoke all my FEARS.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Hopeless: Chapter 16


Am I to believe you actually care? You claim to love me so, yet, I am all alone. Where are you when I need you most? Thought I was worth more but apparently I’m just another rose wilting in the sun, untouched by any remote form of love. Perhaps it means nothing; love that is, a lie, an amazing lie that can fool even the greatest player by its trickery and games.  Maybe it takes a liar to win the game of love. You know, I think I’ll become a liar, and pretend like I never loved you, then, maybe then, I’ll understand.

                Endless emotions rushed over Bella’s body as she felt the heart ache of betrayal, like a bitter herb, on her tongue. Even though what she felt was caused by the man that looked at her with fear in his eyes and a begging forgiveness, she only blamed herself for the gun aimed at her head.  Right at this moment Brook didn’t even touch the thoughts that crept to escape her lips, it was just Sam, the gun, and all the reasons this was her fault.

 “Bells,” Sam spoke with that heartbroken, sweet voice she had always known but it just made Bella want to fall to her knees in tears.

 Why does he fool her with that voice, making her want to believe that he was still her love struck puppy always there to protect her.

“Shall we shoot her?”

 The moment was ended by a couple of lowly demons with the lust of her body and blood in their eyes. They laughed cheerfully and she knew even with a rejection they would still kill her and most likely rape what warmth that would be left in her body.

“Once in the throat, twice in the head,”

“A bloody scene, to leave her dead!”

In chorus, they sung such a twisted a ghastly song that involved her death as well as their plans after she died. It made Bella cringe and her knees buckle with fear. How she just wanted to get out of here, away from the odorous tunnels and the trembling thoughts of her body being mutilated and violated.  To the cocking of guns, Bella closed her eyes sending silent whispers to God so her soul would not be trapped alongside her body.

“Do it and you’ll be ash!” Her eyes popped open to see Sam growling at the two cowardly demons that now were backed in to a corner.

Even in fear, they still giggled and scowled at Sam but Sam had the upper hand with two guns aimed for their heads.

“We never meant to upset you”

“Had no clue you were whipped!”

“Guess you’re just as low,”

“For letting a witch have your soul!”

The end of the line as the led went through their heads, but instead of a violent scarlet, they fell in a pile of ash and vanished. Sam trembled with anger but soon it was replaced with fear. He knew what laid ahead for the deed he had just done.

“Annoying Creatures,”

Finally, Bella was able to drop to her knees in a burst of tears and cries of terror. Sobbing uncontrollably, Bella remained in shock from the horrible things she had gone through in the last five minutes. Sam confused and just as much in shock, ran to her side in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m Sorry Bells,”

Bella looked up, at the sweet blue eyes she had once thought she knew, and sniffled.

“You have to leave,”

Sam pushed her up in a rush to save her from what was soon to be his doom. He knew Austin would find out and wouldn’t even stifle a Goodbye as he killed Bella. She looked at him one last time as she realized the reason she was here. She couldn’t leave, not after all that. Brook still wasn’t home safely and Bella wasn’t about to leave her now.

“I can’t leave,”

With that, Bella darted for the opposite direction, leaving Sam in a panic as he whispered his last proclamation of love and farewell. When Bella returned, Sam would be gone and hopefully she would return.

                “Don’t touch me!” Brook snarled as she slapped Austin’s hand away. She was getting to the point where she figured it was better to fight back than just play the weak damsel. Austin grabbed her wrist as she went to slap him again.

 “Someone’s getting her spirit back,” He gave a cruel smile, not taking her seriously. Sike kicked his leg in an attempt to get him to let her go but it only made things worse. Looking at those black eyes and that dark hair only filled Austin with rage and annoyance.  “Well aren’t we getting a little brave, you mutt!” Kicking Sike off his leg, He turned back to an even feistier Brook.

“I’m Braver than you!” Lifting himself off the ground, Sike glared at Austin with strong willed eyes. Austin growled, raising his hand to knock the defense less child against the wall. POP!

“Mommy?” Brook laid on the floor, pushing her head and upper body up to at least look at the one she truly despised.  She wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth as Sike tried to go to her but she pushed him back. Her lip had a deep gash in it from taking the impact and her eyes penetrated his.

“If you ever lay one hand on him I will personally plan your funeral,” Her voice was low for she was still weak but she managed to say it with enough venom to kill five men.  Austin’s mood turned as he enjoyed the sound of that challenge.

“Perhaps another time my dearest,” He offered his hand to help her up but she turned her head in rejection. “Suit yourself,” With that, he left the room and she embraced a teary eyed Sike.

“Shhh, its okay Sikey. Look, Mommy can handle anything,” He gripped on tighter to her as she soothed him.  Brook really would do anything for this small image of West. She knew that with Austin so easy to harm the child, she had to get him out of here.



                It was against every lie he had told himself, yet, there he was standing in front of the one place he knew he’d have to return to sooner or later, but he was hoping for later. “I said I wouldn’t do this to myself, but who am I kidding. Even that cat called me out on my bullshit,” West gathered all his pride and tossed it away because it wasn’t worth anything without her next to him.

The entrance was more run down than before, because at the time he first came through it twelve years ago it had been a working underworld club. Why the hell did they even have underworld clubs? Guess it was so Demons could trap innocent or more along the lines of tainted souls. “Stop delaying West,” With that, he entered being lead through the maze by poor lighting from the torches.  He guided himself against the dripping cold stones. “Poor plumbing. Damn this place has literally gone to hell. Humans take so much better care of stuff,” Jokes aside, he continued down to a larger section where he heard a sweet honey silken voice that made his stomach turn.

“What did we expect boys. A mutt is just a useless tool that breaks so easily,” It was Austin and amazingly he hadn’t scented an enraged West. He apparently was too focused on something else but what? Austin raised a hand that no longer looked human. It was his true form of a grey beast like creature with long dirty claws, but West had no right to be even the slightest bit shocked for his form was just as beastly and devilish. What did you expect from some of the most powerful devils hell has ever known?  Austin’s hand, I mean paw, slashed across what sounded like flesh and bone making a terrible crunching sound. Blood and bits of white pieces flew into the air. “We can’t have weakness,” One of the goblin looking demons handed Austin a towel in which he wiped his now human hand clean of the remaining blood. “Clean this up, you disgusting low class demon,” He through the towel back at the lower demon who bowed in turn and looked at a leaving Austin with pure admiration.

Once Austin had vanished, West stepped out from the shadows to see the bloody remains of the guy he knew as Sam. He had known about his little secret but never knew he would fall so close to this side of things. West expressed no pity for Sam but felt like he deserved to be avenged since it was Austin that killed him after all and he was all up for more reason to destroy that so called pretty boy!

“Well hello there boys, “They all turned to see West cracking his knuckles as he gave a huge grin, “Miss me?

To the one that truly deserves it


For once I’d like to write to you

The one person that is always there.

Never do you cause me such utter sadness

Yet, I write barely anything about you.

Well this is for you my sweet lover

This is for everything you have ever done for me.

I am truly in debt to the kindness and patience you have shown

All those small minor moments that meant the world.

I know I’m a little hard to deal with, forgive me for that

But still you manage to look at me with a smile.

You are truly a Prince, my prince

Perfection that I never dreamed of having.

Such an imperfect girl that never dreamed of Princes

I wasn’t a Cinderella type child

And yet, here you are.

With your blue green eyes and soft strong hands

With your still blonde to me hair and lovely smile

Every inch of you I adore.

From your stubbornness to show your teeth

To your cute laughing

There is nothing I don’t love even what I hate.

You’re the essence of me

My complete opposite

As well as my exact copy.

With you I feel safe and secure

I know we can make it far

And that you will always be there.

Even when I run to far ahead

Even if I climb the highest stairs

You will remain beside this sorry excuse for a girl

And you deserve this, which I’m writing.

I’m sorry I couldn’t write it sooner

But it is so hard to express how grateful I am

For you, for us, for every moment.

I couldn’t live without knowing you now

And I hope I’ll never have to forget you.

I trust you fully and would gladly give you my all.

There is so much that I wish for you to know

Like how I find your idolistic love for Bruno Mars adorable

Or how I am actually happy that you’re so darn sickly sweet.

So much that I could tell you

But I suck at keeping it short and sweet.

I always beat around the bush

Always try to make everything into a riddle

But you have learned me well

And I just hope you always remember how I feel.

If I shall never write another poem for you

Remember it isn’t because you are meaningless

Or that I have nothing to say to you

It is simply because you are too perfect to describe

My love is too difficult to express

Even for such a skilled writer as myself

So simply, what I want to tell you is this

I love you

More than the world

More than myself

More than even my cats

Your everything to me

Patient when Im impatient

Calm when Im angry

Sweet when Im cruel

Loving when Im mean

And there when it counts

That’s why Im with you

Because  I know no matter what terrible things I do

You will fight to keep me

Thank you for knowing me so well

I love you Mon amour

Forever and always

Always and forever

Until the end of time

And then some

Until death do us part

And an eternity thereafter.

This is for the only person that deserves my sadness

My one TRUEST love

Love your little Chaton,

ARB/SA

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Something I wanted to share....

I read a manga just recently with a poem I can't quite forget. I love it very much and wish to share it and probably write something with the same theme. I wish I knew the author for it is beautiful. I'll post it.

If it should happen...
that we never meet again, I'd rather that we'd never met.
That way neither of us would have to hate each other.

So beautiful and straight forward, or at least to me. I adore it. My new favorite poem by an unknown writer I just can't seem to find :( Good day than Blogger, My form of a diary I guess

Love your terrible excuse for a girl,
S.A.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

As long as you loved me


Look into my eyes as I tell you I love you
Then, tell me it’s a lie
Say you don’t believe me as I hold you high
Grace me with your lips just one last time
Or perhaps, just tell me you believe it wasn’t a lie

Let me hold your hand as I pledge my life
But don’t tell me it’s useless
Just let me help you in all of this
Hand me your hand so I can lay upon them a kiss
Or perhaps, just let me show you I’m not useless

Shall I hold you in my arms as I give you protection
As you tell me there is no way
Over and over reject me even as I keep you safe
A hug instead to hold you in place
Or perhaps, just let me give you a way

Can I touch your lips with mine out of passion
While you convince yourself there’s nothing              
You continue not to reject me but say not a thing
You could give a kiss goodbye that ends with a bang
Or perhaps, touch me like it means something

All I want is you to trust in all I say
Simple as that but yet there is no way
Can’t I just have you for once as mine
Or is it just a wish that ends in time
All I’m saying is, I’d be happy with none of this
As long as you loved me it be bliss

The Acidic Assassin, a wolverine & the x-men fanfic - FanFiction.Net

The Acidic Assassin, a wolverine & the x-men fanfic - FanFiction.Net

This is a fanfiction I made with X-men